If I practice dating, will I get a boyfriend?


Time for another twinnie post with guest blogger, Sophia Yuen! 

I’ve been in a relationship for a year and eight months. It was fun, but it getting to be too comfortable, routine, and I eventually felt like I stopped growing with them. I finally decided that it was time to move on. There are no regrets as throughout the relationship, I’ve grown so much with them, learned so many new things, met so many great people, and even though I am no longer with them, that relationship is something that I will never regret having. But now that it’s over, where do I start again? It’s been nearly 2 years since I’ve been back in the pool (though I feel like it’s more like an ocean). Luckily, people are telling me that the market is really hot right now and that I’m going to be snatched up quick (ego boost!). I was excited for the potential of what I can possibly have next, but definitely nervous about the potential to be rejected at the same time. So many questions ran through my mind – Are there new ways for how things work now? Do people still interact the same way they did 2 years ago? Is anyone in the market going to want me or am I too outdated now? Relationships are confusing.

That relationship… was with my job.

Yep, I was on the hunt again. I took the risky move to leave my job without a backup (but I had a plan!) so I can concentrate on finding the next. During my last two weeks with my previous company (and luckily only one week after I left), I put myself out EVERYWHERE – LinkedIn, job boards, networking groups, agencies, told everyone I knew, etc. For a few weeks, it was apply, apply, apply and interview, interview, interview. And of course sleep – because when you’re unemployed, there is definitely time for sleep.

Eventually, I finally grab that first phone interview. Score! Then what? I haven’t done an interview in nearly two years, but I’ve worked in that field so I thought I had it. I like talking and that’s what an interview is, right? Talking. I researched the company, research the role, brushed up on my resume and when time came, I jumped on the phone. I thought I was prepared, but I didn’t know what to expect any more. I literally cringed after every answer that I gave and I could swear that the Recruiter could hear it. Needless to say, I didn’t get that job and I felt that I was I was in square zero.

I asked for help. I needed it. One of my Recruiters told me that I’m too modest and I suck at selling myself. Ouch. That was the point of an interview and if I couldn’t do that, then I’m either going to have a long time of “funemployment” (which is not really that fun when you have no income and all your friends are at work) or I would have to get really lucky. Another Recruiter told me to apply for everything and take as many interviews as I can whether I want it or not, because the more I practice, the more I was going to get good at it, and the better I get at it, the more confident I’ll be and the more confident I’ll be, then maybe I can actually sell myself and land the next job I want. I can tell you from my recent experience that this combination of advice works.

So over the course of a few weeks, all I did with my spare time (which was pretty much all my time) was apply, interview, (sleep) and repeat. They don’t lie when they tell you that looking for a job is a full time job. It was exhausting! Some days it was back to back to back phone interviews and some days it was commuting from one interview to another. But I started to notice that all Recruiters/Hiring Managers pretty much asked really similar questions and I got good at sounding like a broken record (to myself). Because I was asked so many times through many interviews, I finally got comfortable talking about myself, about what I do, what I like, where I want to go, etc. and even gained the confidence to make a couple of jokes during my interviews. By the end of my first week of unemployment, I already had 2 job offers.

Cliché as it is, practice makes perfect. After that first interview, I didn’t think anyone out there would want me. But you just have to keep putting yourself out there, keep meeting different companies, and practice talking until you are comfortable and both see the right fit.

Does the same concept apply for dating? Keep putting yourself out there, keep meeting different people until, and practice talking/getting to know each other until you comfortable and both see the right fit. Does it work? Someone please let me know if it does. Finding a job I can do. Dating? Wish me luck.


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