Why Are These People so Desperate for my Attention??

imageOkay, so really… what happened last night?? I hope it went well! Now that the date is over, you have the (dreaded) follow up to look forward to… are they going to call? Should you call them? When is too soon? Should you wait 3 days? Okay, keep cool, keep cool. Here are some guidelines for your nervous heart:

  1. Follow up the next day: Whether or not you had a great time, you still want to thank that person for their time and not keep them waiting to hear back. You don’t want to be rude and inconsiderate and just leave them hanging. Respect!
  2. The message: Keep it short and sweet. Assuming the date went well, craft a message that let the other person know you enjoyed their time and you want to see them again. If not, gently let them down, but don’t lead them.
  3. Write something concrete: Let them know exactly how you feel, make your intentions known and don’t play games. Don’t leave room for any open ended questions. Otherwise, the conversation will drag on and nothing will established. However, don’t force anything.
  4. Be positive! No matter if the date was good or bad, never let the other person know you didn’t have a good time. Keep it positive (but don’t lie!) and share something that you enjoyed, even if it was just on the surface.
  5. Patience: Don’t follow up too often if the person does not respond… be patient! Some people take time or *gasp* aren’t with their phone the whole time. If after following up a couple times and the person does don’t respond, it’s safe to say to move on!
  6. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket: At the end of the day, not everyone is going to respond back or you might get rejected. Sorry I have to be the one to tell you that. However, stay positive and and continue your search. Who knows… you might hear back when you least expect it!

I once (unknowingly–don’t ask) went on a date and hung out with the guy for a couple hours, had some dinner and dessert, made good conversation, and laughed at his jokes (Disclaimer: I laugh at pretty much anything). I didn’t think much of it, but he obviously thought it went well and wanted to ask me out again– and followed upmultiple times. Though I thought he was chill, I wasn’t interested in anything romantic, and didn’t want to lead him on. I couldn’t just leave him hanging so I had to break the news that I wanted to be just friends. He never texted back and that’s just his choice, but I felt like I owed him that much to follow up, be straight with him, and not play games.

Following up after an interview is the same idea. You definitely want to follow up within 24 hours with a handwritten thank you card. Thank the interviewer and mention anything positive that you both connected with. Again, keep the message positive, short, and sweet. Once you mail it, make sure be patient! If you don’t hear back, follow up in a couple weeks, but know that they may still be interviewing other candidates and will get back to you as soon as they can, so don’t hassle them— you will come off as DESPERATE. At the same time, don’t stop the search even if the interview went well. You don’t want to keep your hopes up and continue the search in case you don’t hear back.

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